Paving a rainbow future
Tia and her family.
Gender roles, sexuality and behaviors are topics that have been studied by academics for years. So why is it that I am still so often reading books to my child about ‘mummy and daddy’ or watching films where happily ever after only happens between a man and a woman? If my child can recognise broad parenting and modern family dynamics with only 4 years on this earth, why do film producers, authors and advertisers struggle to accept diversity? The media industry is just one example of the wide change still left to be made. Equality for me is the recognition of all groups and representation of them across all platforms, ages and locations.
This self-aware, curious child is only part of my journey and navigation through life as an LGBT+ woman. Fortunately, my coming out experience was subtle, understated and faced little family criticism. My sister is also an out and proud lesbian, so my parents were already accepting and understanding of sexuality and same-sex relationships. As for society itself, not so much. Coming out so young was difficult, whilst choosing study and career choices I also had to be sensitive with friendships as they were not all as free-flowing as my straight peers. Misconceptions and stereotypes fuelled a rejection of LGBT+ people within my school, which held back a number of us from taking that leap and being fully authentic to our feelings. As time progressed and strong-minded individuals like me rejected the mass ideology held at the school, we were able to be more open and truer to ourselves, having open relationships.
After leaving school, I did not face this feeling again until parenthood, a feeling of self-censorship and heightened consideration of other’s feelings. Being LGBT+ and raising a child is beyond the rollercoaster of parenting that people explain it will be. Not only are you raising an emotional, energy-filled snotball like everyone else, but you have the added struggle of tackling social barriers. Children learn from what is around them, they listen and absorb information, so let’s encourage good behaviors and inclusive attitudes.
Tia and her family at Birmingham Pride
Being authentic, your full self is difficult at any age, at any time and for a selection of people, this includes those who identify as LGBT. I now allow myself to be my whole self because people should love you for who you are. I parent in this same way, to love unconditionally. The eventual goal is that LGBT+ parents and individuals face the same scrutiny and treatment straight parents and people receive from others, as equals. History has demonstrated to us that progression can happen, stereotypes can be broken, and attitudes can change.
So, this February, as we recognise LBT+ History Month, love unconditionally, love without limits and appreciate those around you for their authenticity and uniqueness. Be changemakers.
Tia and her family
“And that’s their family”- Kailee Coleman — The perfect video to summarise 21st century families.
Blog written by Tia Stewardson, National Management Trainee for Buckinghamshire Council
Where can you go for LGBT+ support?
Staff who may be struggling with their sexuality or would like access to someone to talk to, can contact our dedicated employee assistance provide, PAM Assist.
You can also visit Switchboard, Stonewall or MindOut for help, support and advice.
